I've Known you for 7 years. We've had an attraction going on and off.  and finally we're together. All this while we've gotten to know each other better. we clique so well, that we know what each other is thinking. Its a great relationship that cn definitely see it through the long run.

But I feel that you've been so used to hw things go in ur previous relationship with all the routines you've been doing all this while that i feel you've forgotten that im different. not as crazy possesive and psychotic as her.I let you have your freedom and choices.I would really like it that once in awhile you know what you want and we're going thru with your decision. I dont want you to be afraid of making a decision and end up making the wrong one. because at least, you are trying and learning. yes decisions are tough. u have to choose between importance and if ur decision hurts someone else's feelings. even if it ends up hurting mine. Which is why the word compromise is in the dictionary. After you put out your options and I have an opinion about it at Least we can compromise. I learned something in my relationship with faliq that the word 'anything' or 'up to you' is irritating. Don't complain after if you don't like it since u said anything or up to u.

And also I would really like it if you plan something for once. Instead if me always doing the planning. I would like to see the effort you put in to thinking instead being lazy to think. It's ok to be lazy once in awhile but not always. It's cool that we lepak with our friends and stuff but we cnt always do that all of the time or everyday. Am I complaining too much? In really thankful that I have you and that you give me freedom. Not as possessive as u use to be last time with ur exs. I'm thankful for a lot of things u do for me. But just this time I'm hoping you would make decisions for us once in a while. I don't if you read my blog. I don't know how I'd react if you did. But I hope u take it positively. As somatic that would improve our relationship . I love you, i do.

Let's make it work ya?
Love you baby.

its been too long since ive blogged.

All i can say is that im thankful that now i have a lot of schools to teach.
unfortunately the stress is gaining up on me because i still have to improve on my teachin methods.
especially for secondary schools. Other than that, the income is starting to increase Alhamdulillah.

As for love life...
i was happily attached to the most wonderful boyfriend..
mus abdin.
never been treated so well by a boyfriend before..
took care of me very well and of my well-being..
pampered me with love..
never have i been so manja towards a guy in my entire life..
but to him i opened up...
to him i started being more of myself...
the hidden kitten who was hiding her true self all this while..

but shit happened.
i screwed up.
i screwed up EVERYTHING.
and seriously. FML.
i dont know why i did what i did..
and i regret it terribly..
because deep down the only person i wana be with is him..
and now all is lost.

its like now im in a state of bloody depression.
i never thought i could ever relate the song
'someone like you' by adele to him.
never.

and now, he wont take me back because he's scared the same shit would repeat itself.
sigh.

seriously fml lah.
i wana change. i wana change myself and get rid of whatever bad points i have.
syakira. u need to grow up already.
sigh.

i hope you read this, though i highly DOUBT that you would.
know that i really love you so much. and it hurts that i wont be able to see you anymore..
hurts that i wont be able to receive those caring smses..
hurts that i wont be able to feel your hugs and kisses..
hurts that you probably will never talk to me again..

i hope that i will change.
i hope that as time passes, we will meet again and you will see a different me..
i hope that till then, you will still love me as you did before and all thats left is to catch up where we left off or just start over..
i hope you will take me back..
i hope my feelings will never change for you...
if we're meant to be, we will get back together..

but in any case that fate is not on our side..
note that i had the most wonderful time with you..
it was only with you that i realised what i missed out in love..
it was only with you i truly felt pampered with love..
i will always rmbr the littlest things..
and i will always keep it in here <3

"nevermind i'll find someone like you
i wish nothing but the best for you too
dont forget me, i beg
i remembered you said
sometimes it lasts in love,sometimes it hurts instead"

i truly madly deeply love you and i hope you'll forgive me
and take me back.

hey people who actually read my blog..
(im guessing, none)

life has been quite chill..
gona be officially graduating in 6 days time YAY! :D
gona need to get a formal skirt..

blackberry's been rather quiet cz wawan told me to make my twitter quiet
so it'll only ring when there's mentions haha
and i hardly get smses..

well only few people know whats goin on in my love life..
which is another reason why my blackberry's been quiet..

lots of things happening..
sad things
happy things
all in all im peaceful and easy going for now :)

like i said in twitter,
with every happiness, comes sadness.

xoxo :)

the radio has been playin music according to my feelings the whole day today.

Syakira
4th Aug 1989
leo
trying to lead an independent life
Freelance dancer and manpower for Events Artery
<3 Fantastic 4 Crew
<3 Foreign Bodies

Ah Kee Doh DarlingS♥
Amirah♥
Ejat
Erny NYP
FANTASTIC CREW
HaiqaL
Mastura
Nora LAKSA crew
Ros Leila FBODZ
Shaik-ira♥
Tasha darling
Tricia
Weeza

.